Hello iPad, will you please Stop asking me if I'll appease You with another software patch? I've not really time to snatch Five minutes to download, reboot. Really I don't give a hoot About a minor point update That's only going to make me late So please quit asking all the time, 'Cause version ten's
Scummy vandals on the farm, Bunch of school kids, causing harm. Time has come to call a cop. Catch the buggers, make them stop. Took some photos, evidence. Showed the copper, he'll dispense A warning to the little gits, And their parents, tell them it's Not on, to mess with what's not yours, Not on
Bye bye old friend. We’ve had some fun. But now your life is over. Done. Eleven years we’ve been together, Come rain or shine, or other weather. We’ve travelled far in boats and planes, In cars, on foot, and on some trains. You’ve always kept me warm and snug With your embrace, your warming hug.
So Kylie’s due to become wed to a young guy who looks like Fred (the boss of that first dates café), The wedding’s off, I hear you say? Our Kylie she’s taken a stand against the laws of her great land Or more precisely one which says that if you’re gay or if you’re les-
Trump’s a fool, and Clinton’s weak, according to the VP speak, in a debate ’tween running mates, thirty-four days before the gates to polling stations are thrown open and Donald loses (that’s what we’re hopin’). It’s not that we’re particularly overly fond of Hillary. It’s more that Trump’s a massive wally, So vote for Clinton,
Goodbye Europe, it’s been a blast, but UKIP told us you’re the past. Now we’re buggering off out of here, because of a campaign of fear and lies and bogus facts and shit like ‘only straight bananas fit in European shops and bellies’, and ‘the EU wants to take your tellies’. We fell for that,